So my last post was all about school. I needed to get that out so I could move forward. Today, I attempt to do the same but for...everything else.
I did mention this in my last blog, but I am anxious about how this is going to work once Andrew, Logan, and myself are all working on computers. I need to make sure Henry is occupied such that he doesn't bother the rest of us. I will need to monitor what Logan is doing while working on the computer...Oof. It might not end up being too terribly hard. I hope not. I won't be expected to be glued to my computer, unless I have a lot of students requesting time to meet with me. Which wouldn't be the worst. I miss them.
Ok. Now on to the rest-It has been almost two full weeks that I have been at home. Last week was Spring Break-I was always going to be home then, anyway. I definitely took it easy. My tendency is to put a lot of expectation on myself and then get overwhelmed and just isolate. I did do that a bit, but I think it was more to do with spending too much time reading the news and getting depressed about the whole situation. I have done a better job the last few days of distancing myself from all of that. It has made a huge difference. Plus, now when I log onto social media, I actually have something new to look at from friends.
My work space is in the bedroom, so it has forced me to declutter and clean in ways we hadn't yet done since moving in. It has been great. We have a lot of windows in our bedroom and there isn't a ton of direct sunlight to bake me. It's wonderful. The cats have loved having the windows open, and the space feels serene.
I have been spending time with the boys-again, not as much as I would love to be doing in my mind's eye of who I am as a person, but we are on the line ALWAYS of wanting to spend time with each other and being annoyed that anyone else exists in the house. We're getting there. I have several low key projects we can do on top of daily outside time and just general random stuff.
Ok, and back to school-SORRY, can't help it! But I do have the time and luxury now with remote learning to really hone my skills on a basic level. So, while this is not ideal in any way, teaching from afar and having the face to face in person interaction taken away, I'll be able to focus on the lesson planning again and practice it more along with creating my rubrics. So I am excited about that. I needed that.
Other things I have done that I am excited about is reading, planting some succulents, and keeping the rest of the house in order. Our spaces are cleaner, and I think I am really finding a routine that is sustainable. I can really tell that we have enough space in this house, because everything has a spot. It's wonderful.
I am looking forward to unpacking other boxes that needed to be unpacked, organizing more, and eventually decorating the house a bit. (Hopefully with some of my own art.) I have a painting I want to do that I think I can convince hubby to put in our room, assuming it turns out well. I am planning on using this time to write more, as well. I find that, in my classroom, I have a really hard time articulating myself well. I'm hoping I just need to push my brain a little bit. Reading and writing more will hopefully help more than just my mental health.
As much as I am trying to focus on the good, there are some unavoidable negatives. Of course, we are all struggling with being cooped inside. Not seeing our friends and coworkers like we're used to. One added factor for myself personally, is that like so many other industries, the courts are impacted. This means that any progress on my trial is on hold. It is hard not knowing when anything will take place, of what that might be. So in the meantime, I plan to do some of my writing centered around that. I miss writing poetry, and that was a great outlet for me previously regarding this subject, so I might try that again.
In bad moments, or bad days, everything seems to pile on itself and it's hard not to let it. I want to be informed about what is going on, but it is incredibly easy to become overwhelmed. Not to mention, my heart feels so much pain thinking about all the people who are in a position of having to go to work physically. Those who are losing their jobs, or healthcare workers who are losing their peers and patients on a daily basis. It is horrible. Our leadership is awful. How do we not get down about that? But I see the helpers-I AM one. I can be there for my kids, for my husband, for my friends, and my students. When I have good moments and good days, I can actively offer my love. I hope you all do the same. And if you can give in any other way do that, too.
I love you all. Here we go.
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